Last Saturday we gathered with Josh’s family in Hillsboro to celebrate Grandma Pat’s 86 years of blessed life. Grandma had 8 kids, 22 grandkids, 33 great grandchildren and one big, fluffy dog named Ellie. She lived out in the country on her children’s land and was an artist, an adventurer and a devout Christian. She was beloved by so many and admired be even more. She wore strength and a smile no matter what life threw at her. She had legit grit. She did what had to be done.

She took care of her husband as he drifted away into Alzheimer’s disease and eventually death. Then, when her first husband (whom she’d been divorced from for years) was on his deathbed, she had him brought to her house so she could take care of him until his death. Not long after that, Josh’s dad, Ed, her oldest son, died suddenly of a heart attack. I’m sure she grieved deeply for all the men she lost but it must’ve been mostly private because I only saw her grow stronger in her faith and conviction. Aunt Mary told me that grandma cried and cried after Ed died but then one day she realized she would have a heart attack if she didn’t stop. So she stopped. Because if something needed to be done, she just did it.

And I’m over here like… how you do dat?

Seriously?! One time I even asked her. When my kids were little and I was struggling as a young mom, I asked, Grandma how the heck did you do it with eight kids? She just laughed and waved at me nonchalantly, it was easy! Sometimes I wondered if maybe Grandma had Alheimer’s too. Indeed, she lived her life so full of faith and laughter that over the years she grew into a sort of mystery I was trying to solve.

Who was this woman so full of grace?

A few months ago when we found out she had a brain tumor and could leave us any day, we drove out to Hillsboro thinking we’d spend a quiet evening with Grandma at her bedside, saying our sacred goodbyes. When we pulled up to Grandma’s house and saw the long line of cars we realized we hadn’t been thinking at all. Of course there would be 20-30 family members gathering around Grandma, anxious for a hug and a kiss.

When we opened the door Grandma was sitting up perky and bright on her hospital bed in the middle of the living room, surrounded-no-enveloped by the warm air thick with generations of laughter, love and babies- always so many babies. Here we were, somber and ready to support Grandma on her way to other side and here she was, having a damn party! She was excited to die! For her, death was the greatest adventure of all. She was going to meet Jesus and I’m sure she was more than ready to see all them boys she’d been missing. I found out later, someone even brought a cake and everyone sang Happy Birthday to Grandma (it wasn’t her birthday).

  But that was Grandma, even in death, she lived a hell of a life.

You know, I still haven’t figured her out but I’m starting to think I’m not supposed to. Maybe some people aren’t meant to be understood. Maybe some people, like Grandma, are meant to be received and celebrated instead, like a precious gift, or a birthday cake when it’s not even your birthday! I love you Grandma Pat and I thank you for the beautiful life you’ve shown me it’s possible to live. I will treasure forever your strength, smile and most of all…grit.

In honor and loving memory of Patricia L. Fields 1936 – 2023