Every year, on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, we take the scenic drive to visit Josh’s family in peaceful Hillsboro, Ohio. Josh has about 50 cousins and I will admit, after almost 14 years of marriage, I still don’t know most of their names. I do know Lauren- though I always confuse her with Josh’s Aunts, Laura and Lori (you see why I gave up years ago???) Lauren is the complete package- embodying the best traits her amazing parents, Bill and Lettie could pass down. She is smart yet compassionate, sweet yet fierce, gorgeous yet modest but most of all she is dearly loved by our family. So when she brought a man to Thanksgiving last November, our ears perked up and our eyes were watching, waiting…who was this curious fellow? Ken smiled and spoke. A familiar warmth filled the room. He fit in perfectly.

When I found out about their engagement not too long afterwards I was not surprised one bit. I knew the very first time I saw them together that it would be unlikely I’d ever see them apart again…

We met each other online. I had given online dating a try and had enjoyed the experience of meeting many interesting people. I was getting tired however, of the time it took and frustrated that most of the guys I was meeting were not living out their professed faith. Ken reached out to me and I messaged him back. Apparently, I was in the “what if” category…

Initially, I was not interested in him at all. Our conversations online were nice; however, not earth shattering and I didn’t think his pictures did him justice.

Ken kept pursuing me however…

After screening my Instagram, he asked to skype. I kept delaying and putting off the skype date because I was so busy and didn’t think this was going anywhere. Finally, after approximately 2 weeks I committed to a day and went on an 8 mile run right before our skype. Sweaty, flushed, and ready to get this over with, I joined the call.

IMMEDIATELY, however, I was taken aback by his smile, energy, and genuineness. We talked for over an hour and I loved every minute of it.

When we got off the call he had not asked for a second date, and I called my mom panicking because I REALLY wanted to meet him…

I remember seeing Lauren in person for the first time through the side-mirror of my rental car. I sharply remember her stance, like that of a warrior waiting for the events to follow, I quickly grabbed the flowers in the seat next to me, finished up a prayer and went outside to meet her in person, and I was instantly blown away.

It’s one thing to see something beautiful online, it’s another thing to behold it in person with your very eyes.

Well, I did get that second date. A little later after our skype call, Ken asked me on a date. He said he was “old fashioned” and he wanted to meet my parents and ask them for permission to take me out. I actually really liked this for a couple of reasons:

1.  My mom is really opinionated and picky so I thought, we might as well get the screening done now
2.  I knew he was really serious about this as it would take a lot of courage to meet someone’s parents…especially my parents.
3.  It made me feel very safe since I did not know anything about him.

He arrived promptly at my parents’ home that Saturday bringing me flowers. He was so kind, thoughtful, and articulate. My parents and I talked to him for over an hour. It was not awkward or uncomfortable, it just felt natural.

Afterward he took me hiking. We went to a waterfall and another hiking trail. I picked up on small gestures that I loved, i.e. holding the door open for me, looking behind to take my hand and help me down the rock cliffs, bringing me Gatorade….he was very thoughtful. We had no trouble talking the whole time. Asking questions about each other, laughing. Ken had great eye contact and a sense of confidence about him that I really appreciated.

The real challenge was to keep my attention to every word she spoke, my thoughts about her beauty and character kept filling my mind. I knew I wanted to marry her from that day on. It was just a matter of waiting, winning her heart and praying.

After hiking we went to dinner and then to a café for coffee where we talked some more. We were together for over 6 hours on our first date! I don’t think either of us wanted to leave.

It was a day I didn’t want to say goodbye…

It became routine during the first few weeks of dating that after Lauren and I would both say our goodbyes, we’d end up calling each other on the phone to clarify our statements/actions. We had to learn to trust one another, while keeping an open line of communication.

From the very beginning Ken set the foundation for pursuing me very intentionally. I have never met a man that has so many communication skills. We are able to clearly articulate our feelings, thoughts, and process through hard times and celebrate our successes.

This openness with one another has really helped Lauren and I immediately discuss any doubts, or concerns right away so that we can both grow rather than potentially stunting the growth of our relationship.

My biggest challenge is balancing independence and leadership. I have a strong personality and a strong desire to be independent…

Ken strives to be the Godly leader. At first I immediately resisted any instruction or guidance as I was afraid to lose myself. Throughout our dating journey through prayer and discussion I am learning how to accept help and adopt a more “together” mentality.

Ken and I are both pretty serious individuals…

Since Lauren and I are both thinkers/processors we like to examine and dig deep into what we say. Thankfully we are able to balance each other out. We have times where we are goofy and laugh and times where we are very intentional. I believe we have cultivated a healthy balance.

Lauren and mine’s relationship is comparable to two things that pair really well together. Like freshly-popped popcorn and a good movie.

I used to plan out each day and my future fully. I began to realize this lead to a lot of anxiety however, because if my plans did not succeed I became very anxious. I am working on surrendering control to the Lord to direct my path.

Whether God leads Ken and I to partner with local or global missions, I pray that we have a heart for service and with the two of us we will strengthen each other to do more for God’s Kingdom than we could ever do alone.

PS- If you’re like me and always looking for new nature scenery check out Fallsville Wildlife Area– it was truly breathtaking!

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