Tansy and Veronica are two sisters whose mom shares my name and a November birthday. For Katie’s birthday, they wanted to do something special, so they hired me for an extended family session.

To be sure, extended family sessions extend me as a photographer. The more the merrier may be true, but when a camera is involved this also means more eyes blinking, more heads turning, more bodies blurring and just…well more. I have to be honest, some of my most challenging work has been extended family sessions.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s been my most meaningful work too.

After losing family members my perspective on everything- including family photography has deepened. Many of the pictures at my brother’s funeral were ones I had taken- mostly at birthday parties and family get-togethers. The best ones were not necessarily him looking at the camera smiling but rather the ones where he was interacting with others in some way.

A hand on his son’s back as they walked down a dirt road, a glance at his wife, massive arms engulfing his baby girl in a closed-eyed hug. Some of the best pictures are blurry and out of focus but when I look at them now I can almost feel his mannerisms and movements. The photographs are how I remember.

This is my heart when I photograph families. My focus is not on everyone being in focus. It’s not on perfect smiles and styles and backdrops. It’s kind of messy and stressy and it feels a little vulnerable because it really is.

Because families don’t always get along. Siblings especially- get under each other’s skin. My brother and I fought more than anyone- we used to wear the rest of the family out (especially my mom) because of our constant bickering.

And the thing is, in the beginning right after he died I felt so much regret for all the fighting. I bargained with God and said if Bobby were still alive I wouldn’t fight with him like I used to. I’d seen the light- I wouldn’t let the little things get in the way. But now, after having more time to miss him and process his absence I don’t make deals with God anymore. I just miss my brother. I miss our flawed relationship. I miss fighting with him- trying to explain and prove myself to him. I even miss seeking his approval.

Life is weird. Family is too.

Tansy and Veronica, thank you for inviting me into your family for a day. Thank you both for sharing your perspectives and values with me. I can see how different you are and I can see how much you really love each other. May these photographs never let you forget…

One word to describe our family is intense.

We pretty much travel as a herd and live life out loud.

We just want to keep on keeping on, making the most of each day God gives us.

Dad manages projects and computery things…Mom makes sure everyone else is still living, fed, educated, and nothing catches fire that isn’t supposed to.

My hobby is horses…Pete likes arguing about theology, conspiracy theories, and the tractor. The rest of the family just kind of enjoys playing and existing. Walks, climbing trees, making forts, art, painting nails, lots of cooking and baking, making messes, things with wheels, board games, time with friends.

An ideal Friday is usually just dinner, clean up, prayers, maybe a movie, a walk or a bonfire with friends. We’re very low key but with such a large family and livestock there isn’t much time.

What we want most for our children is contentment, confidence, health, and the ability to know, love and serve God in all they do.

In ten years I see myself wherever God wants me – just a little more wrinkled, greyer, wiser and maybe a little more patient.

One word to describe our family is loving.

I’m a Nurse Practitioner and my husband is a Pharmacist.

Our hobbies are exercise, crochet, reading, plants, sudoku.

An ideal Friday night is getting together with friends, with a relaxed meal and spending time outside.

Our biggest goal is to maintain our health and happiness as we grow and learn as a family unit. We love to travel and hope to show our children how big and diverse the world is.

Finding a balance between being a parent and an individual and finding time to all be in once place together is our biggest obstacle.

We’ve learned as parents that the hardest day of your life and the happiest day of your life can coincide without you even realizing it.

In ten years I see myself as the mother of a 13 and 11 year old, probably in the throws of managing school calendars, extracurricular activities, hopefully (part time work) and continuing to grow as an individual and maintaining close personal relationships.

Hope you had a wonderful birthday Katie, aka: Nanny!

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