I remember spending the weekend in the mental ward at Miami Valley Hospital. I was suicidal.

And really it wasn’t like I had plans to kill myself…I just didn’t want to live anymore. So my doctor asked if she could pray for me and than I was admitted.

The walls were padded and none of the doors had doorknobs. There was a man that walked the halls talking to himself and a girl that made loud, sexual noises by the phones. Then there were the lobby people who sat in front of the tv like zombies.

I’m sure there was some kind of counseling but I don’t remember. I just laid in my bed and read Harry Potter and ate graham crackers and then I went home.

I wish it was a cooler story and really I am still not sure of what the point of it was. Except that after spending the weekend in the mental ward, I wasn’t suicidal anymore.

I started to think maybe I had a lot to live for.

And sometimes when things get really hard, I think about those padded walls and doors without doorknobs and I thank God for my life. For the freedom He’s given me to live without walls and for the power and authority He’s given me to open my own doors…

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