Today I am thinking about Ed, maybe because it’s Tuesday.

It was a Tuesday when I opened that door a few years ago.

There was a knock and dogs barking and the police officer who hung his head.

My father inlaw was 56 years old when he had a heart attack walking to his car.

 He was on a business trip.

Today while walking the dogs I see him.

He’s smiling at me with squinty eyes and shining teeth and I remember something insignificant.

Ed had braces on his teeth when he died.

Such a small detail that makes me laugh and cry a little.

All those visits to the orthodontist, metal grating gums, rubber bands stretching and pulling and aching.

All that time and money and inconvenience, for what?

Sure, he was awfully cute with those braces, but I doubt he would’ve worn them had he known.

It makes me wonder, what are all the things I’m spending time and money and inconvenience on?

The things I might never get straightened out?

 My house, my wardrobe, my body?

Maybe they are not just things but ideals.

My parenting, my faith, my politics, my success stories?

Such small details that make me laugh and cry a little.

Ed never did get his teeth straightened out.

But it doesn’t matter, it never really did.