I know it’s been a while since I’ve written.

I want you to know that it’s not personal. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you.

There is so much that I want to say.

I have met someone.

Ok well technically I met Him years ago and He’s known me since, like, forever.

But I am really getting to know Him now.

And I think the reason why is because I finally said yes.

I finally made myself available to Him.

And I am not talking about a pledge or a prayer or an altar call moment.

I am talking about a tangible, practical, get my kids in daycare for a few hours so I can really be with him moment.

I am talking about my busy life and the need to get alone with God.

The need to be in relationship with Him.

So every week He takes me for coffee. Sometimes He buys me breakfast too.

So far we’ve been to Bill’s Donuts for glazed pretzels, Central Perc for a window to watch the rain,

Boston Stoker’s for the best caramel latte I’ve had yet, Press for a grassroots cup of coffee,

and Butter Cafe for a food revelation.

We’ve also gone to places I’m not sure we were supposed to.

We’ve sat on top of  an abandoned speaker in a parking lot filled with broken bottles.

We’ve found ourselves wondering in front of the old, out of business Wonder Bread Store on Wilmington Pike.

We snuck into the Fraze Pavillion stage a few weeks ago so that I could sing Him a song.

He wanted me to feel like a star. He knew that I needed the attention.

And He really is the best kind of audience.

So I tell Him all about my crazy new schemes.

And He tells me all about His.

I ask Him what I should do about these things that confuse me so much.

And He tells me stories. He sings me songs. He paints me pictures in the sky.

The other morning, He took me on a ride.

It was a rough one with the kids and I was feeling drained and numb.

I had so many things that I needed to get done.

Life was pressuring me.

I began to question these silly God dates.

Should I really be spending all this time and money on coffee and donuts with God?

God knows we’ve got bills to pay and childcare does not come cheap.

God knows that I have grocery shopping to do and laundry that never ends.

Maybe I was just being irresponsible and immature. Maybe I was just running from my responsibilities.

Maybe I was flaking out.

I needed a drink.

I was on my way to Boston Stoker’s for a latte when the Swell Season’s I Have Loved You Wrong came on.

And I had to keep driving.

If you’ve heard the song before, then you’ll understand why.

Forgive me Lover for I have sinned

For I have loved you wrong…

But this estranged organ in my chest

Still beats for you

It will not rest, so

Meet me in our secret place 

When the time has come

I turned East and headed towards Feedwire.

Sometimes I need buildings and downtown Dayton. That morning I needed backroads and Bellbrook.

Rest your head in my lap

And I’ll lead you out of your own trap

And I’ll show you how much

You have missed through the 

Time we weren’t right

And I began to cry. Because all at once I realized how very sad I was.

How alone I had made myself. How busy I had become.

How trapped I felt in my own life.

I turned onto Lower Bellbrook Road.

And as I kept driving, as I kept listening, I realized that without knowing it, I had been chasing the sun.

Literally.

As I cleared the top of the hill, the trees opened up and the sky did too.

And the sun was waiting for me.

Like a secret waiting to be told.

 A road waiting to be travelled.

A world waiting to be discovered.

Like a creator waiting for me to come.

God knows the bills need paid, the bellies need filling, and the laundry it never ends-

But He also knows the deeper need.

To be called. To answer. To be taken for a ride.

To chase the sun…